me: im so tired, i could collapse into bed and sleep for a year..
me: gets in bed
me: how was earth created
me: who made microwaves
me: how does the internet even work
me: i'm hungry
me: feels bad about something i did 4 years ago
me: remembers 73 unfinished tasks
me: too tired to sleep
So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.
JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.